Summer Camp 2011.

Day one. Lunch line meeting a guy, who wears tie dye. Long luscious hair, the pretties green eyes, voice of a god. Random conversation, asked him where he was from, what he was here for, blah blah blah. Didnt talk to him until later. Sat with him after lunch, and got to know him some more. Found out he's a really cool kid. Sweet guy. I need to find out more. Oh and did I mention HOTTIE. pheewwww.

Day two.  See him when I get to the school, and he's talking to another girl. So deep down i'm like uhhh, maybe I was just flirting I need to move on. But thats when he walks over to me. We sit in room 100 until class begins. He walks me to class, we hug goodbye than meet again at lunch. He sits with me, flirting, smiles, laughs. It's just perfect. Who woulda thought that I would fall for a guy that I met at some art summer camp. Well he walks me to class after lunch, we hug, than leave. Meet again after class and sit in room 100. He comes with us to go carts, amazing. Wanting to spend time with me? This is just awesome. We eat together, race go carts, play games, laugh, etc...etc. The most memorable moment was our long conversation at a table. We found out a couple more things about each other. I had a bf, he had a gf. I was like FUCK. Bc me and cole were breaking up. I didnt know about them. They had been dating for 10 MONTHS! Holy shit. I have no hope, giving up now. Well we talk that night, and he tells me im cool, and hes starting to lose feelings for his GF i'm like HELL YEAH. But than i feel bad....i dont want to be the "other girl." But whatever, I like him ALOT.

Day three. Meeting in room 100, talking like usual. I learn something new everyday. Walks me to class, we hug and say goodbye. We meet at lunch, but this lunch is different. We ate lunch, talked, and than he goes to his car and I follow. He asks me what my favorite color was, and of course I say pink. He pulls out of his car a tie dye shirt he had made that has pink in it. I love it. Im so happy at this point I cant speak. Than he pulls out his skate board and starts to skate. We chat, about him and his gf and how they are doing. He tells me that I'm the only girl he has considered on cheating on his gf with. I dont want to be the other girl. But i like him so much. The buses arrived and everyone was making there way over there so as I started to walk away he grabs my arm and pulls me in for a kiss. Sparks I had never felt before start rushing all over my body. How do i get blessed with something like this? I get on the bus with nothing but smiles and on we go to six flags, which by the way gets rained out. So no more Brice for the day.

Day four. Let the love spark. Meet in room 100, walk to class, and now instead of hugs, we get double. Hugs and kisses. Meet at lunch, but today it was just us. We found a cute coffee shop in the school where nobody was and it was just us. Found out more, he talked about how him and his gf were. Us coming to the school next year, us, different stuff. Todays activity was a movie. And he rode the bus with me today instead of following! The movie was the green lantern, but idk if i really was paying attention. He held me the whole time, we exchanged kisses the whole night, it was just great. I didnt want this night to end. It was just so perfect. Well when the movie ended we had about two hours until curfew so I convinced him to come back to the hotel for a little while. I fell asleep in his arms, he just held me and kissed my head and forehead and occasionally I would look up for a kiss. I didnt want him to leave. But that time rolled around and I walked him to his car. Tears almost coming I held them back. I knew I was going to see him tomorrow but it was going to be the last.

Day five. He comes to the hotel that morning, every time I can have with him were going to take advantage of it. And we still have time together once we get to the school, but not a lot. He walks me to class, kisses me, and says goodbye. By the time one roles around it's pick nick time. None of our family was there so we ate together. I felt like he was mine and I was his. I can dream right? Every free second I have I think of what im going to do without him, im going to be miserable. I almost cry every time but I dont want him to see me like that. Its embarrassing. He takes me to get my bags, helps me carry them. Gah he is just amazing. Once we get back to the school brittany is there. We have to go back to my class by this time and finish up my portfolio. Which turned out amazing. We walked around and saw everyones work. Decided to leave to go get dinner and just sat in his car afterwards. I dont know what im going to do without him. I just sit and look out the window and act asleep. By this time it's time to leave. I want to stay with him forever. Why does the trip have to be over with? It. is. not. fair. He helps me grab my bag, and by this time it is raining, but not too bad. I give him my DY bracelet because I know I am going to see him again. I have his hat, a red bull cap, a bracelet, and a tee-shirt to remember him by. I am wanting to cry so bad but I am holding it back. We hug for what feels like thirty minutes. He tells me we will see each other soon. I believe him, and I get in the car before I really ball.

I fell in love at summer studio.

Goodbye.

All I have to say is goodbye. The times were good, the love was great, kisses felt perfect, hugs like you never would let go, but something was just missing. The fights were making everything worse. It wasnt worth it. I cant be happy with the person that i thought I loved if all we do is fight. It is wrong and that is not what love is about. Why risk staying with someone that fights with me everyday, when there could be someone out there that would give me everything. The love I need, the right attention, kisses, hugs, everything. Hopefully my prince charming comes someday, but GOD please let him come next because I hate getting my heart broken.

Someone New.

Ever wanted to try someone new? Meet a cool new guy, and see how he is like. Kiss him to see how his lips taste. Hug him to see how tightly he wraps his arms around you. Make him tell you he loves to you to see if it sounds different. Why do you seem happy with the person your with but than realize you might be happier with the guy you just met. One week with new people, one week away from old people. What will result from this, that is for me to find out. Who knows, maybe GOD will show me someone different, or to be alone, or even to stay with the person that makes me happy now. I just don't want to fight. I don't want to have to explain myself everyday, why cant he trust me? Show me someone new, show me someone that makes me feel happy, show me love for what it really is.

Trust.

No one is going to have a perfect relationship. It is just not possible, and even if you say you have a perfect your relationship your just lying to yourself. In order to keep your relationship stable for the both of you, you have to trust the other person. If you don't than break up now. If you don't break up now, it will become really bad. Your shit might just be put into trash bags, and even kicked out of your own house. WHY? Jealousy is a bitch, why have it? If I am with you, why would I want to be with someone else? If I wanted to be with someone else but you, I wouldn't be with you period, but if you keep losing trust there will be no more us. I am leaving you for a week and hopefully it will give us a breather and I come back and we are good and relaxed. Although the last time I left to get a break, it made it even worse because I wasn't coming home. The whole reason for a vacation is to get out of town and away from the people in it. Just because I am leaving you for a while doesn't mean I am leaving you for good. Take it as an opportunity to fix any open wounds. Cause we are not perfect. Me and you are far from it. We fight ever fucking day and it vacuums the life out of me. I wish we just didn't have to do it, I don't want to fight with you. I want it to be just me and you on top of the world against it all. We would so win, we are a perfect team. Hell, were a perfect team now. I love you so much it hurts me. Cole Mitchell Quarles.

Gifts of Life.

today i realized that you need to appreciate even the smallest things in life. wether it goes from a high five or a hug to even a new car or a job promotion. you see the sadness of different people almost everyday.. it makes you want to put on a smile for them and be happy so they will feel your happiness. divorces, break ups, lay offs, deaths, broken bones, and even a scratch or two. its not the end of the world. appreciate the little things in life. look at the sky whenever the sun goes down and say "hey, that is beautiful. god can make some cool lookin things". these bumps in the road that happen in our lives are there to show us that this is going to make us stronger. yes divorces suck. im not even over mine yet. i still feel like shit. lost my car, lost my family, lost my moms friendship, losing my brother, losing everything slowly and slowly. but there is one thing that i am not losing. and that is god. everyday he is there for me, by my side making me stronger. you gotta look at these things as accomplishments in your life that will make you who you are today. teens everyday have to experience things like this. i know i am not the only one. i just sometimes wish that it didnt even have to happen. when i see some of the families that are still married and happy with kids. i hate them sometimes. but to want something that is not yours is a sin, so if i said i wanted their family i would be sinning. which i probably do it every day and i regret it. my car will come one day, my job will come one day, my guy is already here and i love him with all of my heart and he is there for me everyday with open arms. the man upstairs has always got my back. hes my homedog, my dad, my savior, my messiah. "hey thats my jeeps name". anyways, back on topic, i am learning to appreciate the dings that are coming from this divorce. i have met a great new family that has taken me my mom and my little brother in as new family to them. i love them very much and i just met them. the guy i am still getting used to but everyday he makes a bigger and bigger impression. love is a crazy thing. but if mom is happy, im happy. their great, im great, everyone is great. brother is leaving soon and i dont know what im going to do without him. i might die. hes my bestfriend. but hell be able to live like a guy should. with his dad. and a girl like me will be able to live how she is supposed to live and thats with her mom. i only have one year of highschool, imma live it to the fullest. appreciate the little things, and you will go far. put on a smile, they make the world go round.

Bucket List

1. Hug a stranger.
2. Find a job....
3. Move out.
4. Actually have a relationship that lasts longer than 2 months.
5. Punch someone.
6. Read a book in a day.
7. Skydiving.
8. Fly in a hot air balloon.
9. Become a whole different person.
10. DIE.