Do I miss you or do I miss what we had?

I think about how a guy should really treat a girl and the only person that comes to mind is you. I feel like I'm in love but am I in love with the wrong guy? He may seem perfect but maybe he isn't as good as he used to be. What me and you had was special. It was never wrong. There was not one bad moment of our relationship. Can you take me back? Can you ask me to be yours again? Because I truly miss you. I know what mistake I made and I promise to never ever make that mistake again. It sucks that I had to learn the hard way and may never get you back again, but I did learn. I learned that I love you, more than anyone I have ever loved before. I run. Running from things that scare me is what I do best. Fear of the commitment. Maybe I just need to stop and be committed. Not such a bad thing, right? No. Baby come back. Kiss me. Hold me. Tell me you love me. Laugh with me. Smile with me. Sing loud to the radio with me. I miss you, and I hope you miss me too.

It's perfect :)

Gotta get my tan on!

Dream Apartment..

When you were little did you ever imagine you living on your own outside of your parents house? I sure did. To get my free space. Did I want roommates or did I want to live alone? Well roommates mean company, but alone means quite. Girls cause drama. And guys are chill but very very very dirty. I don't want stains on my toilet from when they don't let the seat up, or food everywhere. I want it to be my "clean" home to come to. I've always had that fantasy to live with the opposite sex though. They might get on my nerves and push my buttons sometimes but there worth it. Just think, no girls equals no problems. Although they have to be respectful to my privacy and my studies. Well off of the boy topic. My apartment has to have a balcony. I love the breeze of the cool air blowing on my shoulders. A rocking chair reading the book of the week. A tall glass of lemonade and shades to block the sun. I would decorate it just how my mom taught me to do. Make it feel like home. Now my bedroom is going to be the best of them all. A king size bed, chic bedding. To make me feel lady like. My obsession is pictures. Cork board all over one wall with pictures of everything. Things i've photographed, friends, family, magazine clippings, concert tickets, movie slips. Anything you can imagine. My bathroom would be my place of cleanliness. I have always loved my initials being on everything. Including my shower curtain. A black vintage with hot pink cHa initials on it. White towels with black cHa on them. A magazine bin for all of the latests. My kitchen would consist of only healthy organic foods. I am NOT gaining the freshman fifteen. My mother would absolutely kill me! Favorite items that would always be in my refrigerator would include oven roasted turkey, Colby jack cheese, activia vanilla yogurt, peaches and cottage cheese (best combo EVER!), cantaloupe, apples, grapes, cucumbers, green peppers, salad mixings, light ranch, soy sauce, diet mountain dew, water bottles, pickles, eggs,  organic milk, and of course my daily glass of orange juice. Man talking about all of this food is making me hungry! But I cant leave out my freezer, tyson chicken, veggie pizza, microwavable pancakes (not the best at flipping regular pancakes), sherbert ice scream, and my fat free sugar free popsicles. I can imagine it now. My living room is going to be a place of my comfort. A chic, long couch. For max three people. I love tan. Tan goes with everything. A big TV, don't want to strain my eyes. I have have have to have Comcast. On demand is a must in my life. Picture frames will be all throughout the house. Paintings to fill up empty spaces. I have always wanted to have a dog. But, it would be like taking care of a baby so I don't think that is going to happen. My dream apartment will come true. After this year! Than I'm off!


http://www.vacancy.com/georgia/augusta-apartments/traditions-at-augusta

Feeling pretty :)

Fun being 17.

So I am completely back to being me! Got my girl back home from out of town. Got my grades where I want them. Got my college plans for when I graduate. Nothing can stop me now! Honestly, I just needed to let a load off my shoulders and be me for a while. I am perfectly brand new. I have rededicated myself for the good. New changes in my life to make me a better person. And you know what's the best of it all? I work out everyday now!! I feel so good about myself. Releasing plenty of endorphins that make me feel happy inside. I have a great family, great friends, great love, great life. I deleted his number. Blocking him from Facebook. Trying to make myself forget and it is working most definitely. Doing things that I enjoy to do. For example, tonight. BORDER BASH! Georgia versus Carolina. Gonna be one hell of a night. Party party party. Couldn't get any better than that. Well it can. I am going with the two most awesomest people EVA! Got a cute outfit, lost a couple of pounds so I feel like I look decent. Who knows, something good might happen tonight :) life is good for ms Cassie. Couldn't ask for anything more.

Click this!

When you click this, it puts me into a drawing that you can be entered to win five hundred dollars towards tuition money.
http://www.fastweb.com/referral/cassieavery

June 30th, 2011

That day, I sat at a picnic table with who I thought and know who I am in love with. We watched the stars and he asked me to be his girlfriend. Well tonight I sit in that exact spot and think of that night. A great night it was but only better days can come from it. I love you and always will. Forever and always.

Very very very surprised....

I think i am slowly starting to forget about you....

Why don't memories fade?

So worst thing happened today. Friend of mine is in Atlanta for the day. That's where all of my memories take place. Of course he would be texting me the whole time he is there. The one question he asks me. "Hey what school was it you went to over the summer"? The last question I wanted to hear. So of course after answering that question so many memories from that week started flowing through my mind. Our conversation at the hidden coffee shop, or maybe the walk to his car where I got my very own tie-dye shirt where we shared our first kiss, or my favorite which was when he came back to the hotel. We layed there just enjoying each others company. Sharing kisses and eye glances back and forth. I hate memories. I wish I could press an erase button and they be gone.

Magic Man.

1. Has brown hair
2. Enjoys doing exotic things
3. Wants to take crazy vacations
4. Makes the mula
5. Likes to hold hands
6. Has something he enjoys to do on his own, like a sport or something like that
7. Actually likes spending time with me
8. Being romantic is one of his specialties
9. Watching the stars at nights is something he loves to do, most definitely with his special someone. Which would be me.
10. Surprises me. Because I LOVE surprises!
11. Supports me on anything I do. Occasional inputs on what they think is fine but nothing that would make me too too upset.
12. Gets along well with my family. That is a must.
13. Loves me, for me.

Fun fun fun.

Yay! The weekend of September 23rd through the 25th, I will be spending it with a dear old friend. HOPE SATTERFIELD! Although going to Atlanta to be with someone oter than Brice is a little weird. Will he find out I'm going and ask me to come see him on my way up there? I'm going to want to but will I? Probably not. I looked at pictures today. I know, bad bad bad mistake. I have ones he sent me, the ones of us together, the ones I sent him. Should I delete them? I should I keep them for memories? With all of the previous boyfriends I've always deleted the old stuff and just started off fresh. I bet it would be a hell of a lot easier for me that way. Maybe even block him on my Facebook because everytime I get on Facebook going to his profile is the FIRST thing I do. I can't help it, I gotta see him. I've been thinking about college lately. Would he come to me or would I have to go to him. My plans as of right now are to stay in Augusta and go to Augusta state university. Or maybe I could always go to him and go to a university down there. As much as I try to get over you I just can't. Everytime I try a memory pops up in my mind. Like that one time at art camp, air hockey. That was our thing. And ever since we shared that moment together, we play air hockey whenever tere was an air hockey table where we were at. Or maybe even when he came to Augusta the very first time and the last day we went to chili's. Oh my gosh we were lookin rough that day. And all we could do was laugh at each other. Recently we started this thing that every new place we go, we were going to go hiking together. Well I guess I can't share that with him anymore. Just by myself. I think about you everyday. Don't forget me. I wonder if he would every surprise me and drive up here? If our love was real something like that would happen. But I would never imagine him doing that. I broke his heart and broke mine as well. Mine will never be repairable.

Goodbye for forever.

Today marks the day that I forget about you. It'll help me in the long run. Nothing exsisted. Everything was just a dream.

Fucking sick to my stomach.

Why is it that everytime I go to your profile there is a new picture of you and that damn girl. I've thrown up because it makes me sick to my stomach. Why did I do what I did? I want you back so bad but I can't. Why can't you live in Augusta? Eight months needs to go by fast. Because I know if we were together on our own with no parents or any fuckers to fuck us up we could make it. We could've made it if it wasn't for my dumb fuck self. This might be my last blog because going on here all I see is you you you you. I don't wanna say why did I meet you because that would not be fair. I'm most definitely glad I met you. This happens to me everytime when I find someone that is a keeper. It just gets fucked up by someone..but what can yah do. I'm so sorry that this had to happen. But if you were smart, you would keep trying. Please. For me. I don't want to lose you just yet. Let me know you still care because right now your doing a terrible job of it. Why oh why do I have to miss you. I love you too much and thinking about you is a must in my agenda. As tears run down my face, the words I love you are typed so that you know I still care. Come to me.......