August 5, 2011.

today has been the first full day of the new life in north carolina. trying to stay as busy as possible so time can go by fast. only thirteen more days until i can be reunited with my other half. although feelings i have been having dont make me feel good inside. feelings i used to get when i was a little kid. i know i wanted to move to north carolina, but now that i am here i am missing my home more than ever. i miss being able to drive to my friends houses everyday, i miss only being two hours away from brice, i miss having a family, and most of all i miss my brother. the next time i see my brother he is going to be a man. and i dont get to see him grow up at all. i remember the days when i would sleep with him every night because i hated sleeping alone. or the times i would be the only one to see him cry because he hated people see him cry. he must get that from me. i drove by the school i would be going to today. it looks decent. i dont know wether to be excited or to wish the day would never come. i pray and hope that this year will go by fast, because after this year i will be living my life with the person by my side that i want to spend the rest of my life with. i dream about it almost everyday but it just wont come soon enough. i thank myself everyday for making the decision on going to art camp back in june, because if i hadnt, i wouldnt have met brice. if i didnt have him in my life my life would be ten times different. probably different in bad ways. so now if anyone asks me if i believe in love at first sight. you know what i would say? HELL YEAH. i believe in it because it happened to me. if he is not here with me physically i know he is here with me mentally. he will always have a piece of himself in my heart. i could tell him anything in the world and i know he would not judge me. he's one of the only people i let see me cry. he wipes my tears away, and tells me everything will be alright. but the only thing that will not be okay is that he is not here with me. i think about what life would be like if he were with me everyday. i would love life more. but i think the long distance thing is cool because we cherish the moments we have together and that makes it just more perfect. why it must be 5 hours away i do not know but we will make it work i know of it. brice, i love you so much. i know you will read this sooner or later. you are always in my heart. june 30th to forever and eternity.